Really? Jessica Simpson's size matters this much?!

Here you go, ladies and gentlemen. If you were ever in need of a perfect example of how our society and stupid poor, boring writers are making their living...you've got it in the January 27th article claiming that "Jessica looks as if she could be an offensive linebacker...".

Really? The size 4, 5 foot 2 star should be shamed by having gained a few pounds, or maybe just for wearing the wrong jeans? Who hasn't had a picture taken at the wrong angle, mouth agape, jeans tugging in the wrong place, chins popping out from a strange laughter/smile combo. It's human.

Lets see the writer ...naked. I would love to see your cottage-cheese free arse and thighs, and your perfectly lined stomach. Oh wait...Its a dude. Of course. That makes perfect sense. I bet he gets laid all the time by hot skinny, self-esteem-less women in NYC. (or not) More likely he is a young 20-something that is barely scraping by in his studio shitbomb apartment eating ramen noodles, pretending to be succesful and worth more than the horrible excuse of writing capacity he truly is. Maybe he pretends to be important and know people in the rat race and somehow the publicity of writing a 100-words or less of smudge on JS makes him feel powerful when he calls home and lies about his career and all his friends.

Look, don't get me wrong, I love to tease the likes of reality TV stars that get too wasted, or too needy and obnoxious. I make fun, mostly of myself, but not many can say they don't pass judgment. Enough is enough. Tyra, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and now Jessica. What do you say to a tween or younger girl when she hears all this negative rhetoric about a woman who looks substantially better than the masses?

I'll take a stab at it. You tell that little girl ( inside of all of us ) that nothing externally holds the value of who you are. Your integrity, wits, brain, ability to love, be compassionate and happy do not dangle in the balance of what random assholes think of you, or even what specific family members have said about your butt, thighs, boobs, face, hair...etc. It is hard enough to kep our self-criticism at bay. Anyone trying to make you feel bad about yourself is one or all of the following:

1. Unhappy with themselves, and therefore needs to point the finger, wave the hand and divert attention away from their obvious malevolence and insecurity.

2. Somehow feels pressure to act like they give a shit about what you look like and that it effects anything meaningful.

3. Are jealous that you look better, have more, give more or care less.

4. Have deep seeded issues with their own persona and somehow think that "cool points" come from being judgmental.

In any case. It's all quite disappointing and the only way any of it stops is by women and men alike putting aside the obsession with uber-skinny, protruding clavicle, bony, nipped and tucked and pulled back faces and bodies that have become all too normal.

Get a grip. Get a conscience. Get a clue about what makes a person beautiful. 'Cause right now, pretty fecking categorically, we are way off the mark!

Chicago Magazine gives Life Coaching some buzz!

Chicago Magazine published an articles on Life Coaching in the January 2009 issue. Written by Karin Horgan Sullivan, it was titled: "Do I need a Life Coach?" - the rise of the new approach to self-improvement leads to answers for many-and questions, too.

The articles does a few things? Firstly, It shed a little more light on a profession, that is only a decade old. I remember thinking hearing about Life coaches a few years ago, and I pictured cheerleaders clapping bedside to wake you, or something cheesy and Stuart small(ish) Like "YES! You are smart enough! Strong enough! and Gosh-Darnit! People will like you" The more I think about it. I attended Tony Robbins 4-day seminar in 1998, in San Francisco...that was a form of coaching/motivational speaking. I also loved the movie Hitch...also a form of coaching. So as it reforms and shapes, it is becoming more digestible to mainstream.

The second thing it did, was to give some good advice to Coach-shoppers. Th author explained five different points to consider: "Take Stock.", "Understand the difference between a life coach and a therapist", "Shop wisely", Tailor the Experience" and "Really commit". It was quite interesting to read article geared to the person seeking more information about coaching.

I particularly liked the quote cited from Alison Miller, a local Chicagoan coach saying: "Coaching isn't about giving advice; it's about helping clients learn about themselves." This little nugget of distinction is paramount. The client is an EXPERT on themselves...the coach merely brings in the toolbox and in tandem the two work together to generate a plan that executes the intended goals. Love it.

Again, the article can be found in Chicago Magazine. Its worth the 2-page, five minute read. If for no other reason than to give each and everyone a new option for self-improvement.

What's your moto?

Yep. I used a non-word. I was thinking this morning about motivations and how much they season the way we behave, speak, listen, even look. I like to be funny, and self-deprecating more than I should, but I wondered what my motivation for that behavior is. To be loved? To be admired? Or the opposite? I find some people (including myself) send out subversive messages to repel certain people, almost as if to filter the type of energy they surround themselves with.

It's fascinating really. Ive noticed that even the "bad" motivators sometimes tend to drive us more. Perhaps that is why we don't shed them very easily? In the interest of being self-effacing and honest, let me take a shot at it:

My bad motivators: historic and present- but I wont say which is which :)

1. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt: This one is a doozy. I have felt guilty for not stimulating my 2 month-old in the past, therefore I spent hours in her face, singing, dancing, playing games. Seriously? She was 8 weeks into this life and had the stimulation capacity of an eggplant...I'm over that. I have guilt about doing too much, not enough, not buying organic, drinking bottled water that kills the planet, seeing family, not wanting to see family...etc. It goes on and on. (sigh)

2. Fear: This one in particular can inspire action and non-action. I have read a lot about how almost EVERYTHING can be drilled back to some type of fear. In weak moments I fear that I am not a good enough mother, or wife, or citizen.I fear long rides in lots of traffic, small hands on men, judgment (which is ironic given what lies behind that last comma), I fear growing old, or complacent, or worse being forgettable. And...I'm revealing too much. Next!

3. Witnesses: Uh-huh. I am really going to admit it. You should too. How many times have you done something DIFFERENTLY because people were watching? Like...NOT picked your nose, wedgie, or double glazed donut because that cute guy/gal was behind you? More seriously though, my 3 year old is a witness to everything. Old, child-less me might have, say...cursed at a driver that cut me off, or confronted the person who stepped into my line in front of me, or the rude sales person who needed to be accountable. I certainly have been that girl that worked out EXTRA hard when a good looking man peered over...I said it. I did. The thing is...doing such things is depending on external sources to validate our behavior. It is taking away the choice I can make for ME to do things better. Crazy, when you think about it.

So...next time, Good motivators. For now...ponder your moto.

Looking forward to be here now...

So today would mark the first day of my CPCP training with ICA. Lots of acronyms to make me sound important. No really...It is. Not. "Certified Professional Coach Program with the International Coaching Association. There, get it?

I have to admit the focal interest point that sparked my motivation to do this was the very process that was outlined in one of my classes today: The major defining factor of "Coaching" vs. "Counseling" is the very perspective and direction with which one works. I liked that before anyone was formal about it. Therapy is incredible, necessary even for some ( like me in the past) but it does indeed focus on roots, and genesis of issues, diving deep into the places we sometimes need to, but sometimes don't.

Conversely, coaching is more about working in tandem with someone to set goals and move forward. No deep dives or regression sessions. No painstaking awkward moments of that strange discovery of Uncle who-knows-who saying what? or the lengthy stand off sessions of push/pull to let go. (sounds funny doesnt...push/pull to let go). I, personally think both systems are truly necessary to progress in this life. Both paths are worthy of the effort and hopefully help you categorize and manage how we got here, but more importantly, what we choose to take from where we are NOW in order to get to that place...mental or physical, visable or visionary of a calm, better, improved and focused version of how we wish to be.

I am not a woman of black and whites, right and wrongs, hard boundaries and rough angles. I like flow, the inclusion of possibilities and of non-exclusivity. I haven't figured it out yet, but I see the difference, I understand the definitions, and I embrace the positive effects of the two in order to practice the one. (huh?)

Day one...concluded. Munch on that. Spit it out. Whatever effects you positively is fine with me.